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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything: A Collection of Cynical and Defeatist Quotations
If you have trouble getting up in the morning, if you find that you lack motivation in your work, if you find that you really can't be bothered with your family and friends anymore, this book provides you with some of the world's finest cynical and defeatist thoughts.
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101 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Woman
The affirmative bible for the modern woman, this book celebrates all the reasons why it's great to be a girl!
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101 Uses for a Football
If football ain't your thing, then this book's definitely for you. Fantasize about a footie-free world in which those bloomin' balls have been turned to better and funnier use.
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101 Ways To Spend Your Lottery Millions
Everyone dreams of winning the Lottery. This witty guide illustrates some of the more bizarre and humorous possibilities that exist for anyone with a million or two to spare.
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50 Frogs, 5 Babes and a Bulldog
This is the story of five 50-plus women looking for good men in today's dating world. After Sandy Applegate comes up with a plan based on the concept that "you have to kiss 50 frogs before you find your prince," things start to get very interesting....
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A Corpse is a Corpse
It started with a corpse sitting in Jim's office chair... Who's Waldo? Jim sat across from the dead man, an unfired gun in his hand. "Who the hell are you, Waldo?" he said in the angry tone that helped keep the fear bottled up. "How did you get in here? What are you doing at my desk?" Sitting in the chair opposite the body, he stretched out one leg in deference to the dress sword at his side. The weapon's scarlet tassel clashed with the burgundy fabric of the chair, as did the red plume in his h... more info>>
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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation
Welcome to the world of 19-year-old Andy Stevenson, where life is ruled by Murphy's Law and if something doesn't seem like it can get any worse, it generally does. 1989: The adventure begins during the summer after Andy's freshman year of college when he must accompany his grandmother on a six-day trip to California. Upon arrival, however, life becomes a series of comical faux pas with relatives who can't remember his name, women who want to charge him $10 to put suntan lotion on their bodies an... more info>>
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A Midge in Your Hand is Worth Two Up Your Kilt--Modern Scottish Proverbs
The Scottish language is rich in proverbs, sayings, maxims and wise aphorisms. Sadly, in the transition from the abacus to the computer, most of these have become outdated. This great little gift book thrusts these expressions into the 21st century providing millennia of wisdom in a practical modern format. It covers everything from bagpipes to whisky with a few mentions of our dear neighbours, the Sassenachs, thrown in. So whether you are Scottish, a tourist visiting Scotland, an illegal immigr... more info>>
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A Slot Machine Ate My Midlife Crisis
Quirky jobs, wacky friends, hot crushes, and an unraveling marriage are all part of this darkly funny novel describing 45 year-old newlywed Wendy Sinclair's life in Las Vegas after she impulsively decides to stay following a bizarre girls' weekend in 2005.
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A Steel Trap Mind and Other Vignettes
During the last part of October of this year, 2006, we had a tremendous amount of rain over a period of a week, twenty inches or so. During much of that time the satellite for my computer couldn't be contacted so I wasn't able to get on line. Still, I can't stay away from my computer. I finished up my last novel, Warp Point then began looking through some old files I had kept that were in a different word processing program. I had never been able to access them before, but while fooling around, ... more info>>
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Advanced Swearing Handbook
Uncut, uncensored and totally outrageous, this guide to profanity old and new includes the most offensive song titles, the nastiest names for private parts, and the most unfortunate place names from Arsoli to Wetwang. Prepare to be amazed, shocked and highly amused, as the unapologetic Kings of Cussing show that swearing can be very funny indeed. Mike Lepine and Mark Leigh have collaborated on numerous TV comedy and trivia-based shows and have written more than 30 humorous books together includi... more info>>
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Andy Stevenson vs. The Lord of the Loins
Welcome back to the world of Andy Stevenson, where life is just one run-in with Murphy's Law after another. Having returned home from his summer vacation in California where he "came out" the hard and hilarious way in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation, Andy heads back to college for his sophomore year. It's not until Christmas break is over that things start to heat up. Blonde bombshell/poet Tristan may or may not be taking a liking to Andy, but how far will he go to fin... more info>>
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Anger Mis-management: A Cynic's Guide to American Culture
Anger Mis-management was inspired and conceived, out of wedlock, by Bordell's love of comedians such as George Carlin, Dennis Miller and Richard Pryor, and his well-nurtured caustic sense of humor. Bordell dissects (sometimes destroying) topics near and dear to our hearts, including U.S. government, racism, rock music, cloning, reality TV, religion, Bush, criminal athletes, sex education and art, among many others.
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Apathy--A Cause Not Worth Fighting For
Apathy is neither an enemy nor an illusion. It's just a fact of life. Not to be confused with laziness (a reluctance to exert oneself), apathy is indifference, a lack of passion for a subject and the many advantages of being apathetic are explored in this book. Embrace your apathetic nature! Enjoy being a dilly-dallier, a fence-sitter, a procrastinator! Apathy has been around and documented since the Greeks. In fact, they first gave us the word apathy: the prefix 'a' meaning 'without' and 'pathy... more info>>
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Apathy: A Life Choice
If you have trouble getting up in the morning, if you find that you lack motivation in your work, if you really can't be bothered with your family and friends any more, you'll Love this collection of the world's finest cynical and defeatist thoughts. Rob Tobin happily puts the minimum effort into everything he (almost) does.
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Around the Bend
How would ordinary citizens react to a society where any crime can be committed so long as you have enough money to pay the fine? How did a Manx kitten gain a tail? What happens after you die? Was it technology or magic that drove two spinsters together? Suppose you could write a letter to God and get an answer--but first you had to join His fan club? What do butterflies have to do with funerals? How did Darrell Bain react to 9/11? What ever happened to that lost Viagra pill? Do ghosts have sexu... more info>>
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Baby Tips for Grandparents
The nine months is up and the long-awaited baby is finally here. This time, though, you're not the one with bags under your eyes and the sound of desperation in your voice. Enjoy your grandchild secure in the knowledge that you can hand the puking, pooing little tyke back to its exhausted parents at the end of the day. Now it's their turn to experience all those sleepless nights and panic attacks that the miracle of a new baby brings. By the author of Baby Tips for Dads and Baby Tips for Mums, t... more info>>
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Bad Hair Day
Hannah Hailstone's split ends are a divining rod for disaster. Hannah just found a sexy man in the back seat of her car--semi-conscious and bleeding, but at least he has a pulse. Her father, a James Bond wannabe with a penchant for gambling, has disappeared. And there's a man in a pink Cadillac tailing her hippy artist mother. Hannah's plans to re-read her Nancy Drew Mysteries--the vintage, hard cover collection--have changed. Now she's got a real mystery on her hands. Cooper West is on a losing... more info>>
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Betcha Didn't Know
If you love wordplay and/or humor you'll feel right at home. The author was honored as the Punster of the Year for 2005 by the International Save the Pun Foundation, and she proves her mettle as she "mettles" with words, as well as with historical, hysterical, and geogiraffical facts. This com-pun-dium of miss-inflammation will tickle your funnybone and arouse your risibilities. Be sure your medical insurance is up to date before reading this: You may break a rib or two laughing.
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Bugs in my Freezer
Life as seen from the viewpoint of an entymologist's wife.
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But Seriously
Open the pages of But Seriously and you'll see that it is anything but serious. David Jenneson's tight, funny first person wit will keep you reading, smiling and nodding in agreement. His broad brush covers everything from beating up Spammers to destroying Andy Warhol sculptures in the name of art, from the Beatles to being chased by shotgun wielding millionaires. Even his more serious pieces like Freedom 54 (about the pitfalls of being fired at age 50) and My Little Cancer Doll (about providing... more info>>
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Catalytic Quotes
A WORLD OF "WHAT-IF"s... Had Albert Einstein and Arsenio Hall lived at one and the same time, could it have been something the latter said--"Jack Sajak, as an emcee, is square!"--to provide the former with the breakthrough for his now world-renowned equation, E=mc2? Had The Beatles and Adolf Hitler met, the latter commenting off-handedly, "Yes, I did once get Meyer Rothschild's attention by screaming, 'Hey Jude!'"--could the idea for the former's famous song have taken root, right then and there... more info>>
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ChristmaSin'
Christmas isn't just about sugar plum fairies and reindeer dancing across the sky. It can also be about red clay chunk wars, cock fighting, dead people who may really not be, and more! Get set for a wild, wild Christmas ride with ChristmaSin', Southern Outlaw Author Ed Williams' take on what a true Christmas in a small, rural Southern town is really all about! Learn about Christmas miracles happening in the most unlikely of settings, the early '70s in tiny Juliette, Georgia. It's a novel that co... more info>>
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Cinderella, Etcetera
In a hilarious fantasy realm that is sure to remind many readers of Diskworld and Xanth, a wizard and company promise to fulifill young Cindy's rich father's dream and weave a spell that will make the Crown Prince fall in love with her at the upcoming ball. But the magical Mafia has its own plans for the beautiful Cindy, as does her Wicked Stepmother. Meanwhile, the man sworn to see that all goes smoothly and Cinderella marries the Crown Prince finds himself falling in love with her. Comic magic... more info>>
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Cobwebs in the Broiler: The Adventures of a Very Wicked Step-Mother
Val Szabo thought being the first woman sheet metal worker in her local was a tough job. As it turns out, being the "wicked" stepmother to two kids is the hardest thing she's tackled yet. Join her on her crazy, zany, (and sometimes scary) journey into everything you never wanted to know about helping raise other people's kids.
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